Hold onto your hats and maybe your pants, because we’re diving deep into the world of… drumroll, please… PENIS NICKNAMES! That’s right, whether you lovingly refer to it as the “Sticky Taster,” “Captain Winky,” or even the utterly wonderful “Trouser Trombone” (seriously, who comes up with this stuff?), one thing’s for sure: if you’ve got one, you’re in for a wild and wacky ride.
Some folks out there have bestowed upon their nether regions names that range from the self-coined to the slangy to the downright absurd. Maybe it’s a moniker you thought up in a moment of sheer genius, or perhaps it’s a term you heard shouted out in surprise during an unexpected trouser snake sighting.
Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for the unveiling of the ultimate and complete list of synonyms, nicknames, and silly words for that most infamous of appendages: the penis! Whether you’re a wordsmith seeking linguistic delight or simply in need of a good laugh, prepare to be amused, amazed, and possibly a little bewildered by the colorful array of monikers bestowed upon this most… erm, illustrious member of the male anatomy. So sit back, relax, and prepare to embark on a hilariously enlightening journey through the wild and wacky world of penis nicknames!
Now, I bravely (or perhaps foolishly) ventured into the depths of the internet to bring you this crucial information. Let me tell you, typing “Penis” into a search bar is like opening Pandora’s box… of, well, PENISES! I’ve seen things, folks. Things that will haunt my dreams for years to come. I may require therapy, or at the very least a stiff drink and a long nap. But fear not, for I have sacrificed my innocence so that yours may remain intact. All for the noble cause of uncovering the most side-splitting, eyebrow-raising, and downright bizarre nicknames for those nocturnal adventurers and their escapades on Tinder and Grindr!
So prepare to be amused and possibly bewildered by the outrageous array of monikers for the one and only… Trouser Snake!
A Bad Place to Shoot-Up Heroin
A Bad Place To Snort Coke
A Bad Seat
A Branch of the Man-Tree
A Classy Institution
A Coke Bottle Just Waiting For the Mentos
A Cursed Relic
A Damned Good Start
A Less Majestic Comet
A Real Love Handle
A Rocket Ship to Destiny
A Shitty Vibrator
A Tastier Fruit Cake
A Very Painful Seatbelt
A Whole Lump of Regret
Abominable Snowdick
Acorn Top
Admiral Winkey
Adrenaline Shot
Adult Erector Set
Adventure Worm
Agent Hosepipe
All-Star Breakfast
An Incomplete Hula-Hoop
An OK Seat
An Unconvincing Mustache
An Upright Citizen
Anaconda
Angel of Awesome
Angler Dangler
Angry Aardvark
Angry Buffet
Angry Llama
Antenna
Antenna With Shitty Reception
Apollyon, Lord of Flies
Appendage
Apple Head
Apple Headed Beef Basher
Apple On A Short Branch
Armadillo
Arrow
Ass Injector
Assault Rifle
Atomic Turtle
Aux Cord
Baby Batter Blaster
Baby Leg
Baby maker
Baby-Batter-Blaster
Baby-Maker
Baby-Making Bop-It
Back Door Pass
Back Scratcher
Bad Bottle of Wine
Baguette
Bald Avenger
Bald Butler
Bald-headed giggle stick
Bally Wacker
Banana
Banger
Bar of Kryptonite
Baseball bat
Bat
Bathtub Eel
Baton
Batter Ram
Battering Ram
Battle Ax
Bayonet
Bazooka
Bean Stalk
Bean Tosser
Beanie Baby
Beard-Splitter
Bearded Logger
Beast
Bed Snake
Beef bayonet
Beef bottle
Beef Hammer
Beef Scarf
Beef whistle
Beefeater
Beefy Ent
Bellend
Below the Belt Bacon Beast
Big Beefy Bastard
Big boy
Big Floppy
Big guy
Bigfoot
Binky
Biscuit
Biscuit Brisket
Bishop
Black Mamba
Black mamba
Blaster
Blastocyst
Blood Balloon
Blood Sausage
Blood sausage
Blood Slug
Blowpop
Blue Steel
Blue-veined custard chucker
Blue-veined junket pumper
Blunderbuss
Boa Constrictor
Boaby
Bobbin
Bollocks
Bologna Bandit
Bologna pony
Bolt
Bone
Bone Club
Bone-Horn
Boner
Boner-rang
Boney Macaroni
Booboo
Booby-Basher
Boom stick
Boot
Booty Bumper
Booty Rattle
Bopper
Botswana beef bayonet
Bouncer
Bouncing Betty
Bow-Legged Swamp Donkey
Braciole
Brain
Branch
Branch of Eternity
Bratwurst
Brobdingnagian Bulge
Broccoli
Broccoli spear
Brown trout
Browneye Stinger
Brownie
Brutus and the Twins
Bubble
Bubble Blower
Bubble gum machine
Buckaroo
Buckeye
Buckshot
Buckwheat
Buddah’s belly button
Buddy Buddha
Buffalo soldier
Bulge
Bulge Sculptor
Bulgy Buddy
Bulgy Bugle
Bull
Bull’s-eye
Bullship
Bully beef
Bully stick
Bum tickler
Bumble Muffin
Bumper
Bungee Smuggler
Bunker Buster
Burrito
Bush Snake
Buster
Butt dart
Butt Scratcher
Butt Snake
Butterbean
Buttery Slopstick
Butthole Bandit
Button
Caber
Cabeza
Cactus
Cadbury’s c
Cajones
Cake Penetrator
Camel toe
Cane
Cannoli
Cannon
Canyon Crasher
Captain Suck
Captain Winky
Captain winky
Capuchin
Carnage Wurm
Carpet Cleaner
Carrot
Catcher In the Snatch
Cattle Prod
Cat’s Tail
Cave Troll
Center Sweat Stain
Cervix Crusader
Cervix sentinel
Chameleon
Champignon
Charcoal Stick
Chasm Closer
Cheeky Monkey
Cheese log
Cheesestick
Chef’s special
Cherry Popper
Cherub
Chicken
Chico stick
Choad
Choady McMeatstick
Chode
Chopper
Chowder
Christmas goose
Christmas Ornaments
Chub
Chubby
Chuck Dickens
Chum Rod
Cigar
Cinnamon Biscuit
Cinnamon roll
Cinnamon Stick
Clam
Clam Hammer
Clam Skewer
Classic
Clit stick
Clit-Clapper
Clitoral Plunger
Cloak
Clock
Club
Cobra
Cock
Cocktail Peanut
Cod
Coiled Serpent
Colgate
Colon Plugger
Colonel Crotchy
Colossus
Colossus of Rhodes
Commander
Commander In Jeans
Commander of the Southern Armies
Commander Rod
Cone
Conga
Connection to God
Conquerer of the Marshes
Conquistador
Consolation prize
Cookie
Corkscrew
Corn dog
Corn On The Cob
Cornholio
Cornish game hen
Corporal
Corpse Defiler
Cossack
Cougar bait
Cougar Rifle
Count Dickula
Coxcomb
Crack Assailant
Crank
Crankshaft
Crash Course In Bad Decisions
Crazy-Glue Spigot
Cream-Filling Cannon
Creamer
Creature of the Night
Crimper
Crimson mushroom
Crinkle-cut
Crisco Stick
Crotch Compass
Crotch Mounted Regret Cannon
Crotch Paddle
Crotch Rocket
Crotch Slapper
Crotch Slayer
Crown jewels
Crows Nest
Crucidix
Crunchwrap
Crunk Hammer
Crying Cyclops
Crème de la crème
Cucumber
Cum Cannon
Cum Gutter
Cum-Breathing Dragon
Cummerbund
Cunt Cockula
Cupids Arrow
Cupids Torch
Curved Candle
Curved Majesty
Custard launcher
Cylinder
D’s
D-Battery
Daddy’s Hand Gun
Dagger
Dallas Dangler
Danger noodle
Dangle
Dangle Blaster
Dangus
Darth Vader
Dead Eye Sam
Dearest Member
Deep Digger
Deep Personal-Space Probe
Deep sea diver
Defender of the City
Defiler of Many
Demon of the South Side
Denim Ferret
Denim Narwhal
Derier Defiler
Devourer of Worlds
Diamond Cracker
Dick
Dickapult
Dickas Hilton
Diddle-Whistle
Didjeri-Don’t
Ding dong
Ding-dong
Ding-Dong-Dangly
Dingaling
Dinky
Dipstick
Dirty Dowsing Rod
Dirty Ice Cream Cone
Dirty Jammer
Dirty Mushroom
Dirty Thermometer
Disco stick
Dismount
Divining rod
DJ
DNA Catapult
Doctor Howler
Dog
Doggy
Dolly
Dome Head
Dong
Dongasaurous Rex
Dongmongulous
Dongzilla
Donkey
Doorknob
Dope stick
Dork
Dormouse
Double barrel
Double dragon
Dough Boy
Doughnut Holder
Downstairs department
Dr. Feelgood
Dragon’s Tooth
Drainpipe
Drill Sergeant
Driller
Drippy Paintbrush
Drippy Puffer-Fish
Drizzle Spout
Drooling Badger
Droopy Baguette With Cheese
Droopy Dog
Drumstick
Duck Call
Dude Piston
Dude piston
Dumb stick
Dunce Hat
Dutch courage
Dutch rudder
E.T.’s Finger
Earthworm Jim
Edward Norton in “American History X“
Eiffel Tower
Eighth Wonder of the World
Electric Boogaloo
Elephant Trunk
Elevator
Erected Evolution
Erector
Escape Rope
Excalibur
Eye Dropper
Eye of the Pleasure-Storm
Eye Of The Storm
Eye Piercer
Face Blaster
Face Hugger
Fanny Slapper
Fappling Gun
Fat Kidney
Fat Stick
Father of Dragons
Festering Growth
Fiddle-Bow
Filler
Filthy Fornicator
Filthy Spelunker
Finger Food
Fire Spout
Firecracker
Firehose
Fist of Fury
Flaming Face Slapper
Flamingos Beak
Flayer of Mortals
Flesh Auger
Flesh Flute
Flesh Hawk
Flesh Root
Flesh Saber
Flesh-Zeppelin
Fleshy Bong
Fleshy Iceberg
Fleshy Pacifier
Flex Rod
Flop Trout
Flop-Handle
Floppy Fish
Floppy Meat Balloon
Fountain of “Youth”
Franks and beans
Friction Whistle
Friendly Downstairs Neighbor
Front Tail
Frothy Flotilla
Fruit Bearer
Fuck Geyser
Fuck Loaf
Fuck Maker
Fuck Piston
Fuck Slug
Fuckarina of Time
Fucknado
Fuckstick
Fur Blimp
Furious Downstairs Neighbor
Furry Fuzz-Fucker
Furry Snake
Fury Faucet
Fury Monkey
Fury of the River
Future Destroyer
Fuzz Baton
Fuzz Nugget
Gandalf’s Staff
Ganker
Gargle Gargoyle
Gash Diver
Gash Hook
Gash Mallet
General McSexy
General Throb
Genetic Faucet
Genghis Cock
Gerald
Gherkin
Giggeli
Giggle Handle
Giggle Pin
Giggly Goblin
Giraffe Neck
Girth Rocket
Gleaming Love Blade
Glorious Peoples Leader
Glory Gun
Glue Stick
Goal-Post
Goat Bumper
Gobble Throttle
Gods Pinkey Finger
Golden Spigot
Goldenrod
Goldfinger
Gollum
Gonadulous
Gong-Ringer
Gonorrhea Giver
Goomba
Gorilla Vine
Grave Digger
Greasy Fish
Greasy Gator
Gristle
Groin
Groin Gouger
Groin Graboid
Groin Ninja
Groot
Grounds For Divorce
Growth
Grunt Rod
Grunty Grunty Thrust Thrust
Guardian Angel With a Substance Abuse Problem
Gut Stick
Hairless Ferret
Hairy Banjo
Hairy Houdini
Hairy How-Do-You-Do
Hairy Pen
Half a Necklace
Half of a Good Time
Ham Branch
Ham Dragon
Ham Tube
Hammer
Hammer of Dawn
Hammer of God
hammer of love
Hammer of Thor
Hammy Toothpick
Handle
handle
Handy Hammer
Hangy-Downy
Harbinger of the End Times
hard drive
Hard-on
hardware
hatchet wound
he-man
He-Who-Shall-Not-Be Named
Head of Public Relations
Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
heat-seeking missile
heat-seeking moisture missile
helmet
herbie
Hercules
Herp Head
Herpes Hammer
Hershey Bar
Hibernating Bear
high hard one
Highway to the Danger Zone
Holy Grail
Honey Dripper
Honky-Honky
hoo-ha
hoo-hoo
hook
Hooker Hammer
horn
Hornets Sting
Hose
hose
Hot Beef Injection
hot dog
Hot Pocket
hot rod
hot sausage
Hotrod
Hulk’s Fist
Humphrey
Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hymen Hammer
hymie
Ice Pick
iceberg
Iguana
Impractical Paintbrush
Inchworm
Indiana Bones
Ineffective Scope
Inflatable Poo-Jabber
Inside-the-Pants-Belt
It
Italian Stallion
Jack in the Box
Jack in the box
Jack’s magic beanstalk
Jackhammer
jammy
janitor in the hallway
java
javelin
jawbreaker
Jean Steak
Jedi
Jefferson
jelly doughnut
Jelly Roll
Jenga Tower
Jenny Craig
Jericho Missile
Jerry
jiffy stick
Jigger
Jiggly Wiggly
Jimmy
Jimmy Dean
Jimmy Dean Reject
Jimmy-Jam
Jizz Launcher
Jizzstick
John Henry
John Johnson
John Thomas
Johnson
Joker
Jorma
Joy Knob
Joy-stick
Joystick
joystick
Judge
Juicer
Juicy Dribbler
Juicy fruit
Juicy Man Steak
jumbo
Jumbotron
Jumper
Junior
Junk
junk
Junk In the Jeans
Just Mind Bogglingly Girthy-Bore Rifle
justin
Justus
Kaiser
Kaleidoscope of Pleasure
kebab
Keck
Kennedy
Key Part of the Male Reproductive System
Key to the End Times
Key to Your Dreams
Khal Drogo
Kickstand
kielbasa
King Ding Dong
King Kong
King Richard
King size
King snake
King’s scepter
King’s sword
Kipper
Kitty
Knee Buckler
Knob
Knobgoblin
Knobhead
Knobkerrie
Knobstick
Kraken
Krull the Warrior King
Kulli
Kyrpä
L’Engin
L’Outil
L’Unita
Lady Gag-you
Lady-pleaser
Laidy’s lollypop
Lambshank
Lance
Lance of Love
Lancer
Lap Lizard
Large Bore Rifle
Laser Pointer
Laser Splitter
Laugh Stick
Lava flow
Leader
Leaky faucet
Leaning Tower
Leatherman
Lechon
Leek
Leg
Leg of lamb
Leg of mutton
Leggy
Legwarmer
Lemon
Lemondrop
Length
Lengthy
Leo
Leosaurus
Leper
Leroy
Lethal Injection
Leviathan
Libido
Lick
Lickety-split
Life Preserver
Life Sprinkler
Lifeline
Light Saber
Lighthouse
Lightning Catcher
Lightning rod
Lil’ bro
Lil’ willy
Lily
Lil’ Winkey
Lima
Limber dick
Limber jimmy
Limbo
Limited Depth Drilling Apparatus
Limousine
Limp biscuit
Limp noodle
Limp penis
Limp-dick
Limp-jim
Limpkin
Lincoln
Lincoln Log
Lindy
Lingam
Link
Linty
Lion
Lipstick
Liquid Almost-Baby Faucet
Liquidator
Liquor stick
Lissome
Little birdie
Little bro
Little chap
Little Dovahkiin
Little Engine That Could
Little Fucker
Little Guy
Little guy
Little Guy With the Least Fashionable Turtle-Neck Sweater of All Time
Little head
Little john
Little man
Little peter
Little soldier
Little willy
Live Sausage
Lizard
Lizard tongue
Loch Ness Monster
Locomotive
Log
Lollipop
Long Dong Silver
Long dong silver
Long Dong Sliver
Long fellow
Long john
Long johnson
Long N’ Girthy
Long one
Long Pig
Long stick
Longfellow
Longfellow diller
Longhorn
Longie
Longjohn
Longshanks
Longstaff
Lord Commander Groinulous
Lord Commander of the Southern Forces
Lord Humongous
Lord of Light
Lord of the Halls of Madness
Lotion Dispenser
Love Belcher
Love Lure
Love Shaft
Loveworm
Lumpy
Lust Powered Coat Hanger
Lust Torch
Lusty Love Lance
Mad Max
Magic Mike
Magic Mountain
Magic Pipe
Magic stick
Magic Wand
Magic wand
Main Drain
Man Bits
Man Clit
Man Drain
Man Horn
Man Missile
Man Nugger
Man Puppet
Man Root
Man Telescope
Man-Motor
Mandana
Mangler
Manhood
Manly Cigar
Manly Shrub-Hub
Master Sword
Masturbation Motor
Mayonnaise Factory
Mayonnaise Pipeline
Mayor of Pants City
Meat Scepter
Meat Stick
Meat stick
Meat Storm
Meat Straw
Meat-hose
Meat-Lolly
Meaty Bubble-Wand
Meaty Maelstrom
Mega Shark
Member
Mentos and Coke
Messy Burrito
Metapod
Micropenis
Midget Chaser
Mightiest Tree In the Forest
Mighty Blade
Mighty Unicorn Horn
Milk Dripper
Milk Hose
Milk Straw
Mini-me
Missile
Mjolnir
Moby Dick
Mojo
Monkey
Monkey Fist
Monkey String
Monster
Monument
Moses
Mossy Sea Slug
Mount Doom
Mount St. Helens
Mount Vesuvius
Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Clean
Mr. Happy
Mr. Hornbag
Mr. Meowsworth
Mr. Missile
Mr. Sniffles
Mr. Winky
Mt. Everest
Mule
Muscle Bound Shit Wrecker
Mushroom
Mushroom Head
Musk Handle
Musky Man Candy
Mustache Cleaner
Mutton
Mutton Dagger
My Best Friend
My Body’s Captain
My Fleshy Friend
My Manly Popsicle
My Personal Stradovarious
My Rifle
Myrtle
Mystery Meat
Nard
Natural Second Nose
Needler
Nether rod
Nimrod
No-Knuckle Pants Finger
Nose In the Beard
Number One Pencil
Ocarina of Slime
Old Frothy
Old Man Drizzle
Ol’ Drippy
Ol’ Faithful
Ol’ Fisty
One Color Paintbrush
One Color Rainbow
One Eyed Man
One Flower Bouquet
One Nostril Nose Plug
One Rung Ladder
One String Guitar
One-eye Pete
One-Eyed Monster
One-eyed monster
One-Eyed Snake
One-eyed trouser snake
One-eyed wonder weasel
One-Eyed Yogurt Thrower
Organ
Organic Sausage
Ovary Observer
Package
Packer
Packing heat
Pants Boomerang
Pants Muffler
Pants Politician
Panty Poker
Parental Distillery
Passion Twizzler
Peacemaker
Pearl Jamer
Pearl Necklace Provider
Pecker
Pecker-Corn
Pee-Pee
Pee-pee
Pee-Wee Herman
Peen
Peeper
Pelvic Popsicle
Pencil
Pencil dick
Penile appendage
Penile shaft
Penile tissue
Penile unit
Penile weapon
Penis
Pepperoncini
Period Plugger
Personal Baseball Bat
Personal Piglet
Personal “On” Switch
Peter
Phallos
Phallus
Phantom of the Opera In Your Pants
Philly Cheese-steak
Piddle Fiddle
Piece
Pillar of Awesome
Pink Floyd
Pink Kink Handle
Pink Oboe
Pink Pencil
Pink Tractor Beam
Pink Xenomorph
Pinkey and the Brain
Pintle
Pipe
Pipe Cleaner
Piss Dispenser
Piss Pump
Pisser
Pistol
Piston
Pixy Stick
Plaster Blaster
Pleasure Bud
Pleasure Gavel
Pleasure Machine
Pleasure Pogo
Pleasure Rod
Pleasure Stick
Plonker
Pneumatic Navel Nudger
Pocket Jedi
Pocket Rocket
Pocket Shot Glass
Pogo stick
Poker
Pole
Poo Miner
Poo-Flicker
Pool Stick
Pop-Tart
Popcorn
Pope of Pork
Pork Blade
Pork Lance
Pork Pawn
Pork Pipe
Pork Spatula
Pork Steeple
Pork Sword
Pork Whistle
Pork-Stalk
Power Point
Pressure Washer
Prick
Pringle’s Tube
Private
Private part
Private Washington Monument
Professor XXX
Proof God Has a Sense of Humor
Puff Stick
Puff the One-Eyed Dragon
Pug Face
Puking Flesh Weasel
Pull Up Bar
Pump Action Shotgun
Purple Pneumatic Drill
Purple Turkey Baster
Purple Warrior
Purple-Headed Man Monster
Purple-headed yogurt slinger
Purple-helmeted trouser snake
Purple-Helmeted Warrior of Love
Purple-helmeted warrior of love
Purple-helmeted yogurt thrower
Pussy Pounder
Pussy Pulverizer
Python
Queef Creator
Quelaags Fury Sword
Quick-Scope
Quickening Peg
Quiver Bone
Quiver bone
Quiver Steak
Rabid Dog
Radio Tower
Rage Burrower
Railgun
Rainbow Maker
Rainstick
Ramrod
Ranger
Ranger Regret
Rascal
Reason to Consult a Medical Professional
Rectal Wrecker
Red Cap
Red Headed Throb Monster
Red Hot Toy
Red Rocket
Red-capped mushroom
Redwood
Regurgitator
Respectable Gentleman
Rip Van Winkey
Rip-Chord
Road to Pleasure
Rock Em Sock Em Robot
Rocket-Top Bottle
Rod
Rolling Pin
Romance Rod
Root of Jesse
Rude boy
Rump Plug
Russel the One-Eyed Wonder Weasel
Sad Larry
Salty Drizzle-Stick
Salty Geyser
Salty Steve
Satan Scepter
Satan’s Shovel
Saucy Noodle
Sausage
Scepter
Scepter of Sordid Affairs
Schlong
Schlort
Schwanz
Schwanzstucker
Schwetty balls
Scooby Snack
Screwdriver
Scrod
Scrotum
Sea monster
Seamen Spitter
Second Brain
Secret weapon
Sergeant Slaughter
Serpentine Surprise
Sex Reactor
Sexy Suppository
Shaft
Shagger
Shake-Weight
Sham-WOW!
Shifty Wrinkle-Demon
Shillelagh
Shiv
Shlong
Showerhead
Shrinky Dink
Shroomy
Silk Snake
Sin Stick
Six Inch Soldier
Skin Flute
Skin flute
Skinner
Slammin’ Salmon
Slim Jim
Slingblade
Slippery Love Dolphin
Slippery Salmon
Slippery Snake
Slippy
Sludge Pump
Slug
Slugger
Slytherin
Smacker
Small-Bore Rifle
Smeagol
Smelly Dwarf
Smile Spreader
Smokeless Peace Pipe
Snake
Snake With the Lazy Eye
Snapper
Snatch Ratchet
Snow Globe
Snowpiercer
Sock Cruster
Sock Stiffener
Soft Knife
Soldier
Sonic Screwdriver
Sour Cream Rifle
Sour Creme Production Facility
Source of the Local Syphilis Outbreak
Space Needle
Spam javelin
Spam Obelisk
Sparkle Bolt
Spear
Speed Bump
Speedboat
Spelunker
Sperm Spraying Whale
Spice Shaker
Spigot
Spigot of love
Spikey-Back Turtle-Dragon
Spitstick
Spitter
Spitting Cobra
Splooge McDuck
Splooge Saber
Sploogy Sharpshooter
Sponge
Spongebob
Spray Stick
Spring Loaded Semen Sprayer
Spring-Loaded Nose-Slapper
Sprout
Spunk Catapult
Spunk gun
Spurt gun
Squinty Blow-pop
Squirm-Handle
Squirt gun
Squirtle
Squish Sword
Sriracha Dripper
Staff
Stallion
Stand
Stand up
Starfruit
Starscream
Stay Pufft
Steve Buscemi’s Face
Stick
Stick of Sexy Dynamite
Sticky Ass-Spackler
Sticky Cigar
Sticky Taser
Stiffie
Stiffy
Stimulus Package
Sting Ray
Stinger
Stink Twizzler
Stock
Stone
Stone of David
Stonehenge
Stonker
Stopper
Strawberry Ice Cream Cone
Striker
Stud
Stump
Submarine
Succulent Sausage
Suckshroom
Suckstick
Sugar stick
Super soaker
Supercock
Suppository
Surfboard
Sushi Roll
Swamp lizard
Swansong
Sweatsicle
Sweaty Suck-Stick
Sweet Meat
Sweetmeat
Swiss Army Penis
Swizzle stick
Sword
Sword of Michael
Symphony of Regret
Syphilis Saber
Syrupy Cylinder Waffle
Tabasco
Taco Warmer
Tadger
Tadpole Torpedo
Tail
Tall tommy
tally
Tallywacker
Tallywhacker
tallywhacker
Tan Banana
Tang
Tank
tapa
Tapioca Tap
Target
Tassle
Tasty pastry
tater
Tazmanian devil
Tea and crumpets
Tea stick
Teeth Whitener
Telescoping tower
Temporary Vaginal Piercing
Temptation Turtle
Tent peg
Tent Pole
Terms and Conditions
Testicle
Testicles
testicular tissue
testiculi
testies
testons
testosterbone
The Actual Shocker
The Albino Cave Dweller
The Alien
The Alpha
The anaconda
The Banana Cannon
The baton
The Beast
The big guy
the big vein
the bishop
The Blister Pistol
The Blood God Atrofax
The blue-veined custard chucker
The Brittlest Bone
The Bulge
The Business End
The chopper
The Colonels Drumstick
The cone
the conga
The Conqueror
The cyclops
The D
The Dark Knight
The De-Virginator
The Devils Own Microphone
The ding dong
The Dipstick
The dong
The driver
The dude piston
The Elder Wand
The Eternal Eviscerator
The Eviscerator
The Exactly-In-The-Middle Pole
the eye of the needle
The Faceless Man
the family jewels
The Fast
The Fate of Many
The Fibonacci Sequence
the flagpole
The flesh flute
The flesh rocket
the fleshy tripod
The Folly of Man
The Frothy Frigate
the fuck stick
the fun rod
The Furious
The Giving Tree
The Goods
The Grand Finale
The Grand Slamwich
The grower
the head
The heat-seeking moisture missile
The Hive Mind
The Hole-Hungry Crotch Crocodile
The Horn of Gondor
the hose
The Human Centipede
The Intruder
The Jowliest Old Man
The joystick
The Juice Crew
The Juicer
The Key to the Lock
the King
The Kingslayer
The knob
The Larger Hand On Big Ben’s Clock
The Last Action Hero
The Last Unicorn
The Little Bruce Willis That Lives In My Pants
the little man in the boat
The Littlest Gentleman
The Lone Ranger
The Lone Warrior
The Long Hand On the Pants Clock
The love muscle
the magic wand
the main vein
The Mainline To Dirty-Town
The male member
The Male Reproductive Organ
The Man Behind the Curtain
the man in the boat
The meat whistle
the member
The middle leg
The Middle Muffin-Top
The mighty mite
The Mommy Maker
The Monolith
The North Pole
the old boy
The old man
The Ol’ Aim N’ Shoot
The Ol’ “S” Hook
The Omega
The Oncoming Storm
The One Balloon That Doesn’t Match
The One Headed Hydra
The one-eyed captain
The one-eyed monster
the one-eyed snake
The one-eyed wonder worm
The Oscar Meyer Weenie
The package
The peen
The peeper
The Pen That Never Runs Out Of Ink
The Pendulum
the pendulum
the peter
The pink cigar
the pink oboe
The pipe
the piston
the pleasure pole
The poker
The pole
the pork sword
the prick
The purple-helmeted warrior
the purple-helmeted warrior of love
The python
The Ramburglar
The Really Big Lebowski
The Riddler
The rocket
The rod
The salami
The Sappy Oak
The sausage
The schlong
the scoop
The Septapalegic Octopus
The shaft
The Short Crutch
The shotgun
The skin flute
The snake
The South Pole
The Spanish Inquisition
The Speculum
the spitter
The Spreader
the staff of life
The Star Spangled Banger
the stick
The stiff one
The stinger
the stonker
the sword
The third leg
The Thundering Overseer
The tool
The Tree of Forbidden Fruit
The Tree of Life
The Troll
The Troll of Thigh Valley
The trouser snake
The tube steak
The Ugliest Flower
the unit
The wang
the weasel
The wedge
the wee-wee
The weenie
The Weeping Willow
The Whip
The White Whale of the Denim Seas
The Whitest Walker
The Whomping Willow
The whopper
The wiener
The wiggle stick
the willy
the wingwang
The womb raider
The wonder worm
The woody
the worm
The Yeast Feaster
The Zipper-Caged Creature
Thermonuclear Rod
Thick Brick
thingy
Third Eye Sam
Third Leg
Third leg
Thorn
Thrill Drill
Thrill drill
Thrill Mill
Throat Cork
Throat Scraper
Throb Fairy
Throb knob
throbber
Throbbing gristle
Throbknob
Thruster
Thumper
Thunder Piston
Thunderbird
Thunderbolt
Thunderhorse
Thunderous Tootsie-Roll
Thunderous Whip of Transcendent Fury
Thunderstick
Tic Tac
Tic-Tac
Tickle Badger
Tickle pickle
Tickle-Gizzard
Tickler
Tiger
Tiki
Timber
Time machine
Tingler
Tinker
Tinkerbell
tip
Tip drill
Tip of the iceberg
Tipper
Tirpitz
Tissue
Titan
Titty-Tickler
Toad
toadstool
todger
Toe
Toe Scratcher
Toilet Parts
Tongue Tester
Tongue Twister
Tool
tooly
tooter
Toothpaste Tube
Toothpick
Tootsie Pop
Tootsie roll
Top gun
Torch
Toucan’s Beak
Tower
Tower of power
Toxic Tourniquet
tractor beam
Trafalgar
Trans-Pantslantic Cable
Transformer
Treasure
Trebuchet With Very Disconcerting Ammunition
Tree trunk
Tremble Tumor
Tremble Wand
Tri-pod
Trickle Torpedo
Trinket
Tripod
Trombone
Trouser Snake
Trouser Tsunami
Trousersnake
Trout-Trident
Trumpet
Truncheon
Trunk
Tuba
tube
Tube of Mascara
Tubesnake
Tummy banana
Tuna Can
Tuna can
Tuna torpedo
Tunnel Snake
Turgid Trouser Snake
Turgid turtle
turkey
Turkey baster
Turkey neck
Turnip
turtle
Turtleneck
Tusk
twanger
Twat Fodder
Twiddle Rhombus
Twig
Twig and Berries
Twig and berries
Twinkie
twinky
Twister
Two ball cane
Two veg and meat
Two-Direction Compass
Two-legged Boa
Two-legged tripod
twonker
Umbrella handle
Uncircumcised wonder
Uncle
Uncle Dick
Uncle John
Uncle Reamus
Uncle Touchy’s Happy Stick
Under the Covers Crusader
Unit
unmentionables
Upright Base
Urchin
USB Stick
Uzi
Vagina Miner
Vagina Monster
Vagina Plug
Vaginal Eviscerator
Vaginal Speculum
Vaginal Sunrise
Vainilla
Vainilla Stick
Valiant vein
Veggie
vein
Vein train
Vein train.
Vein-Bow
Vein-cutter
Vein-erect
Veined custard launcher
VeinMaster 3000
Veiny Cucumber
Veiny Girth
Veiny Straw
Veiny Victor
Veinzilla
Velvet sword
Velvit Python
Very Hot Topic
Vessel
Vesuvius
Vienna Sausage
Viking horn
Viking Staff
Vindicator
Vinegar
Violin
Virility
Vixen
Vlad the Impaler
Vodka
Volcano
Voldemort’s Missing Nose
Vomit Rod
Vomitous Mass
Walking Stick
Wally
Wand
wand of light
Wang
wang dang doodle
Wanger
wangle
Wangsta
Wanker
Wankhammer
wankie
War club
Warp Pipe
Warrior
Weapon
Weapon of Ass Destruction
Weapon of ass destruction
Weapon of mass destruction
Weapon of Mass Seduction
Web Slinger
Wedge
Wee-wee
Weedle
weenie
Weeping Monkey
Weepy Cobra
weewee
Weiner
wenis
wet noodle
Whacker
Whammer
Whang
Whangdoodle
wheenie
Whip
Whistle
White gold
White Mamba
Whoopi-Maker
Whoopie Stick
whopper jr.
Wickless Candle
widget
Wiener
Wiener Schnitzel
Wife Gagger
Wiggle Finger
Wiggle stick
Wiggle Worm
wiggle worm
Wiggler
Wiggly
Wiggly Pogo-Stick
Wii-Mote
Wild Hog
William
Willie
Willow
Willpower
Willy
Willy the one-eyed wonder worm
willy wonka
Wind Waker
Wing wong
wing-wang
Wingman
Winkey Badger
Winkie
Winky
Winnebago
Winner
Winston
Winston Churchill
Wintermelon
Wisdom Wand
Wise man
Wishbone
wizard sleeve
Wolly Manmoth
Woman Maker
Woman-Slayer
Womb Broom
Wonder Worm
Wood
Woodpecker
Woody
Woody Womb Pecker
Worlds Cheapest Bottle of Champagne
Worlds Shortest Fishing Pole
Worlds Smallest Violin
Worldstomper
Worm
Wormhole
Wormtail
wormy
Wrecking ball
Wriggler
Wriggly
Wrinkle
Wrinklebeast
wrinklepump
Wrinklestiltskin
Wrinkly Crutch
Wrist Rocket
Wyvern
X-factor
X-Rated Toothpick
Xylophone
Yad
Yak
Yam
yam
Yam bag
Yams
Yang
Yankee doodle
Yard
Yardstick
Yawing Yowie
Yearling
Yellow
Yellow Belly
Yellow Dart
Yellow dragon
Yellow Peril
Yellow Sausage
Yellow submarine
Yellow Wine Dispenser
Yen
Yew
Ygdrasil’s staff
Yin-yang serpent
yingyang
Yippie
Yipsicle
Yo-yo
Yob
yobbo
Yoda
Yoga stick
Yoghurt Cannon
Yoghurt gun
Yoghurt pistol
Yogurt
Yogurt hose
Yogurt Slinger
Yogurt slinger
Yogurt thrower
Yogurt Truck
Yolk
Yolkstick
Yolky poke
Yoni
yoni stick
Yoo-Hoo
You-Know-Who
Youth
Yoyo
Yuca
Yule log
Yum yum
Yum-yum
Yummy
Zamboni Bologna
Zapper
Zealot
Zebedee
Zebracorn horn
zebu
Zen
Zephyr
Zeppelin
Zesty Italian
Zeus
ziggurat
Zigzag
Zilla
Zinger
Zip-Code Extender
Zipper
Zipper Constrictor
Zipper Ripper
Zipper snake
Zippy
ziz
Zog
zombie
Zombie maker
Zombie stick
Zonker
Zoom Stick
Zoombini
Zoomer
Zoot stick
Zorro
Zucchini
Zygmunt Freud
Zygote poker
Zygotene
Deep Impact
